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Abducted

Bestest Friends Network

This is the end
for you my friend
give me your money
  -ghostxxx

there is a silence
an empty inbox morning
then salvation - *ping*
  -Terri C. Sheep

Captain Kramer, he's a hero,
Gonna tell you that you're a zero,
His eyes are always magnified
And he's fighting on his own damn side.
  -Alloni Kramer

Alloni, burning
Brightly with childlike glee,
Fearful symmetry.
  -Chris Wayne

The Mazing Looni,
Manipulating us all.
What joy to be his.
  -Mary W. Hodges

I should have counted.
You are right! I feel betrayed...
Where does Chris Wayne live?
  -Nathan Winant

This here is my leg
My name is Mister T, fool.
stick it up your ass
  -ghostxxx

No new messages
Wish I had a creditcard
Amazon-dot-com
  -Terri C. Sheep

Lost not near Texas
New bottle of water gone
I will dehydrate
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

that is really good
I'm sure fellow abductees
will be very chuffed
  -Felix

Long is the right road
The left is even longer
Must get better shoes
  -Khanh Nguyen

Unread messages
I will read them at random
Or I will delete
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Rabid butterfly,
Glistening wings stained with blood,
Alloni quotes us.
  -Chris Wayne

I just might be chuffed
but there is no way to tell.
What the fuck is chuffed?
  -Garth

Spirits hear me
Oom a lakka
Boom a lakka
Wham bam phoom
Wakka wakka lakka lakka
Oom shaka boom.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

abducted list guy
wails to sound of dripping water
he blinks, a dumbass.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

whitish grey and black
once full with humor and smite
bottom of inbox
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

just for a moment
cute guy undisappears here
new mail abducted
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

cute guy disappears
not to Las Vegas with me
mailbox is lonely
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

freezer is empty
penguins deserted ice cream
pass me the cheesecake
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

rusty blank and dull
the senses of your keyboard
they know your dumbass
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

oh hark the whiner
her pitiful attempts suck
get back in your box
  -Felix

long is the silence
arid flacid and barren
such the outback speaks
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

the nightingale cries,
"i'm gonna open up
a can of whup-ass."
  -Alloni Kramer

onward seeks the quail
oft is his pecking and shit
in a black trench coat
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

poor little french fry
sitting right on the park bench
wisdom is not life
  -Alloni Kramer

pacing butterfly
hovers just above the ground
I will step on him
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

how do I love thee
let me count the many ways
not a single one
  -Alloni Kramer

long silence broken
sound of empty warrior
is now unwanted
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

hear the sparkling wit
tinkling chiming crystal bells
shards of broken glass 
  -Alloni Kramer

click sound of typing
silence as jen gets fired
for writing email
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

single raindrop falls
echoing into nothing
anyone out there?
  -Alloni Kramer

Apparently not
They are ignoring us now
they are too boring
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

perhaps it is we
perhaps we drove them all off
hip hooray for us
  -Alloni Kramer

Too quick they speak ill.
Lest they should ignore my posts,
I'm here. No one cares.
  -Chris Wayne

Look Chris Wayne is here
let us insult him greatly
so he will renga
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

We are innocent
the guilty are the silent
and vice versa too
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

remember you fool
if you can not renga
you can not fight
  -Alloni Kramer

ponder this great truth
the silent may remain so
boot them in the head 
  -Alloni Kramer

I'm still listening
In my saved message folder
Your haikus all go
  -Josh Smith

this is a challenge
a co-savior compells you
you must fight, whitey
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Lilith, foul first wife,
Insult me at your peril.
Do I renga right?
  -Chris Wayne

be sure you wear shoes
booting heads is difficult
when you are barefoot
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

eyedunno loves us
true only he can say why
bask in his light beam
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Are you talking to
Me? How can you be sure I'm
White? The blinding glare.
  -Chris Wayne

renga right and true
First woman escapes death, wimp
I squish you, roach Ick
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

yes I address you
white is the only color
in my mail, so there
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

So how can you tell
the text from the background, eh?
                   
  -Mark Doner

no no no I swear
you are doing this all wrong
you must have three lines
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Mistaken you are.
Lilith too will die one day.
Roach is forever.
  -Chris Wayne

Then you are racist.
You must be American, not
Real European.
  -Chris Wayne

I love you because
You guys are fucking clever
*incandescent glow*
  -Josh Smith

the dog rolled over
before he died suddenly
it was the chilli
  -Felix

Hmm, that's very strange
For differentiation
My mail has several hues
  -Josh Smith

There was a third line
but it was full of spaces
and hence invisible
  -Mark Doner

Bengal roach spray friend
guaranteed up to one year
you will be dead too
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Hungry now. Going
To Wendy's for daddy long
Legs Fries. Be back soon.
  -Chris Wayne

Many sages say
"Roaches will survive The Bomb"
Right they may well be

The fact remains that
Only change is eternal
So Chris Wayne is wrong
  -Josh Smith

By P.C. standards
Our Jen is European
Dash American
  -Josh Smith

"Bah," I say to you
The object of your criticism
is "irregular".
  -Josh Smith

Felix makes me laugh
he must be European
or close to dying
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

hear the compliment
fall before my eardrums-suh
you are my black light
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

No insanity
Peppers for me, not ever.
The coyote calls.
  -Chris Wayne

(That is so unfair.
Haiku couplets allowed? At
Best irregular.)

Roaches adapt,
The world changes, so do they.
Roaches eternal.

Red headed freak (or
So Garth says), challenge me not,
I am never wrong.
  -Chris Wayne

Mark Doner is life
you did that on purpose, huh?
I kick your ass now
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I'm no fool, renga
I will. Would hate to not fight.
Og's purpose in life.
  -Chris Wayne

But after a year?
When the guarantee expires,
Roaches rise again.
  -Chris Wayne

Bah, I say, I hate
Political Correctness.
Doubleplusungood.
  -Chris Wayne

Leave the booting to
Felix. Knows what he's doing.
National pastime.
  -Chris Wayne

my mail white on white
I must read it psychicly
wrong intonation
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

already answered
you must read forward, dumbass
aren't you psychic too?
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

only weaklings here
hunger is for the masses
I get off work soon
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

roaches will not live
once they are under my shoe
I still squish them flat
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

of course Chris is wrong
he is always a dumbass
I love him that way
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I am not too sure
I look in book after food
then games and coffee
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

In a very cruel worlk	
Smack is communication
So come get some Jen
  -Barry Boies

Og frog dog hog slob
unity uncleanliness
noses clog for him
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Damn. I fear, run, hide.
The irregular senryu
was intentional.
Thppt.
  -Mark Doner

Hope that's not your boss,
Jen, or you might get off work
Sooner than you planned.
  -Chris Wayne

remember poet
that light enters from within
this is my major

man, it is so cool
to get course credit for this
you are so jealous
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

food waits for no man
sadly parting, I'm off work
fond farewell, my friend
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

How did you know that
My apartment is a mess?
More paranoia.
  -Chris Wayne

cathode raygun fires
wiggle your video card
fix loose connection
  -Baabaa

So you think it's the
Video card, and not the
Monitor itself?

I will try this when
I get offline. Hope it works.
Sincere thanks to you.
  -Chris Wayne

Beauty of the list
everything to everyone
except windoze fans
  -Baabaa

Alloni does not
Respond. Doesn't he approve?
I am very sad.
  -Chris Wayne

Alien masters
Watch from afar, innocents
Abducted and probed.
  -Chris Wayne

Drip, drip, I wail not,
I rather enjoy the sound,
I slowly go mad.
  -Chris Wayne

hrmph. bah. and so forth.
Dropped syllables are a sham.
Childlike Chi-uld-like.
  -Chris Wayne

Mock me not. Haiku
On the brain. I cannot stop.
Someone help me, please.
  -Chris Wayne

Don't we all. Buffy's
Re-run. Stay online some more.
Abducted rejoice.
  -Chris Wayne

Can't you see, you fool?
The month on your messages
is a couple off
  -Josh Smith

I hunger, but not
For mortal food. Slake my thirst.
I work tomorrow.
  -Chris Wayne

I thought you said
That hunger was for the weak.
Hypocrisy reigns.
  -Chris Wayne

Bah! Puny woman,
The roach fears no shoe. Hard shell
Protects him from harm.
  -Chris Wayne

I appreciate
Your expression of love. I
Return it. Dumbass.
  -Chris Wayne

Beauty is fleeting,
Looks fade with age. Brains, until
Senility hits.
  -Chris Wayne

Black light?  I like it.
It's got an air of evil
And Pink Floyd posters.
  -Josh Smith
 
Thanks for the offer
I think I would enjoy that
But would SHE approve?
  -Josh Smith

Yes, you catch on well
Indeed, my bald jealousy
Cannot be hidden
  -Josh Smith

And what of triplets?
Irregular is one thing
But utterly MAD?!
  -Josh Smith

But will they be bugs
Or unbounded energy?
Is that still a roach?
  -Josh Smith

Garth says the same thing
I challenge him nonetheless
Are you much different?
  -Josh Smith

But enough of this
I now feel a sudden urge
To write in meter
  -Josh Smith

At the institute,
They too said I was mad. Look
What happened to them.
  -Chris Wayne

Mighty uber-roach,
Omnipotent coprophage,
Godlike entity.
  -Chris Wayne

Of course not. Don't be
A fool. Don't you remember
That we are all Garth?
  -Chris Wayne

you dirty whore, you
abusing the system now
karma is a bitch
  -grey

ghostie was right, though
sort four hundred messages
will take forever
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

You can do it, URC.
And put all this renga stuff
On blivit dot org.
  -Josh Smith

Hey, don't be ashamed.
The renga's just begun, man.
I'll attest to that.
  -Josh Smith

lesbians, nazis
in louisiana swamps
grab me my shot gun
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Arrgh. Please make it stop.
Can only handle so much
Haiku is Evil
  -Trevor Walton

That's nonsense, my boy.
Besides, this is senryu.
That's not the same thing.
  -Josh Smith

Always whining Jen,
Allergic to everything,
hypochondriac!
  -Michael Hale

Ha HA!  We go on
Traveling to salvation
Or anywhere else
  -Alloni Kramer

Where is salvation?
Oh yes! I remember now!
It's in Missouri.
  -Josh Smith

Alloni Kramer
With his boring rambling posts
*plonk* goes my kill-file
  -Michael Hale

You foolish mortal.
Alloni will smite you now.
Hasta la vista.
  -Josh Smith

He does not scare me,
Monkey boy with distemper,
aquaphobic wuss.

You are a luser,
You don't even have a clue,
What an OS is
  -Michael Hale

all hail the ghost
i am the supreme being
you are ALL bitches
  -ghostxxx

In good ConSciEnce
From this day forth till i deem
my posts are haiku
  -ghostxxx

Something to do with
Greys. Remember anal probes
back in your childhood?
  -Terri C. Sheep

Live in fear, weak one
Japanese haiku robots
Are set on *attack*
  -Terri C. Sheep

darkness is around
im playing rugby Outback
feel the nose burn off
  -ghostxxx

twelve hours
to drive to phoenix
we are nuts.
  -grey

Let's get one thing straight:
That's hydrophobic to you.
Once again, you lose.
  -Josh Smith

Let's see, there's Windows
Mac, and some Unix flavors
Also Apache.
  -Josh Smith

Yes.  The Sheep is right.
And, as if that's not enough,
Here comes Godzookie.
  -Josh Smith

Like tattoos
Old .sig files tell tales
Sordid past
  -grey

Silly child
It's a web server
Not OS
  -Terri C. Sheep

I'm aware of that.
I'm just humoring smiley.
Muahahaha!
  -Josh Smith

I never wanted
To go to Missouri
It just glares at me
  -Alloni Kramer

Again with the plonk
Can you not imaginate?
I cannot either.
  -Alloni Kramer

we must show mercy
to those less gifted than us
the gnomes tell us so
  -Alloni Kramer

remember mercy
that which I said I woud give?
i was wrong.  i lied.
  -Alloni Kramer

Screw mercy. Distract
The gnomes with underpants. What they
Don't know can't hurt us.
  -Chris Wayne

In all fairness, though,
Renga is supposed to be
An insult contest.
  -Chris Wayne

Imaginate? Is
That a real word? I think not.
I could be wrong though.
  -Chris Wayne

mock me, mock my self
i can live quite well with that
mock knowledge and die
  -Alloni Kramer

has ever there been
a single message where i
failed to mangle words?
  -Alloni Kramer

Yes. Just recently
In fact. The one where you stopped
Raping your mother.
  -Chris Wayne

You don't consider
Ignorance mock-worthy? What
Else is there to mock?

In truth, no one here
Is blatantly stupid. We
MUST mock ignorance.
  -Chris Wayne

it is not a word
he just made it up to use
in this renga game
  -Amy R. Dawson

i'm sure there must be
though i cannot think of one
it must be out there
  -Amy R. Dawson

all right, my mistake
sometimes i simply mangle
facts instead of words
  -Alloni Kramer

mocking ignorance
is fine by me, just don't mock
my computer skills
  -Alloni Kramer

the truth is out there
and, like many lies, it fails
to capture intrest
  -Alloni Kramer

I think you might be
Mistaken. Eyedunno is
Mocked for Apache.
  -Chris Wayne

Don't be so absurd.
Alloni wouldn't abuse
The English tongue so.
  -Chris Wayne

Oh, absolutely.
You're right about that for sure.
I can't deny that.  
  -Chris Wayne

Intrest? Can I see
Your poetic license, please?
Out of the car, sir.
  -Chris Wayne

whenever we mock
i assume i'm being mocked
it's safer that way
  -Alloni Kramer

Can't stop the haiku.
Iambic pentameter
Is just way too hard.
  -Chris Wayne

sorry officer
i left it at home but i
brought this nice fifty
  -Alloni Kramer

Oh. Then by all means,
Continue your paranoid
Delusions. Sorry.
  -Chris Wayne

President Grant, one
Of my favorite poets.
Franklin was better.
  -Chris Wayne

i happen to have
a picture of herr franklin
look at him smiling
  -Alloni Kramer

But just think of all
The anchovies you're missing
By not visiting
  -Josh Smith

Maybe, just this once,
The gnomes happen to be wrong.
Smite Smite Smite Smite Smite.
  -Josh Smith

Franklin had a twin
Brother. Perhaps you have a
Picture of him too.
  -Chris Wayne

unfortunately
i only have here franklin
and grant.  will that do?
  -Alloni Kramer

Unnecessary.
Interest has two syllables.
So says my Webster's.
  -Josh Smith

Who you callin' a
Bitch, boy? I'll show you who the 
Bitch is around here. 
  -Chris Wayne

No way. Not enough. 
Please step out of the car and
Spread'em. Cheapass bribe.
  -Chris Wayne

No way I let that
Pass. Webster's says childlike
Has optional schwa.
  -Chris Wayne

i knew i shouldn't
have given that cheap crack whore
that fifty for tip
  -Alloni Kramer

Well, there you go then.
The keyword is "optional".
Alloni is cleared.
  -Josh Smith

ConSciEnce? OK,
You get out of the car too.
Alloni, cellmate.
  -Chris Wayne

You don't have to tip
Crack whores. Gratuities are
Included in their wage.
  -Chris Wayne

Are you acting as
Alloni's defense counsel?
Tell it to the judge.
  -Chris Wayne

Taz hate renga. Taz
hate renga. Taz hate renga.
Taz sure hate renga.
  -Garth

twenty-six hours
to drive to phoenix each year
my family is nuts
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

yes, but when you tip
reasonably well, they tend
to show gratitude
  -Alloni Kramer

Silly Alloni.
They ALWAYS show gratitude.
Or so I have heard.
  -Josh Smith

you mean that Clarice
whispers her nothings into
everybody's ear?
  -Alloni Kramer

Oh.  THAT is the kind
Of gratitude you speak of.
You have made your point.
  -Josh Smith

THAT'S NOT A HAIKU
GHX HAS NO HONOR
GOES BACK ON HIS WORD
  -MICHAEL HALE

Japanese Bubble
Gum Techno Girls are coming,
To abduct us all
  -Michael Hale

print STDOUT q
Just another Perl hacker,
unless $spring
  -Michael Hale

You must be one of,
Those Alien Imposters,
Where did you put grey?
  -Michael Hale

The OS renga
Was directed at josh smith
I have much worse for you
  -Michael Hale

judging by your posts,
You have mangled neurons, too...
Been smoking crack long?
  -Michael Hale

Look what I have found,
I press his anger button,
*smiley* wins again!
  -Michael Hale

Ringing off the hook...
I think I hear the clue phone
Josh, it is for you!
  -Michael Hale

i don't need that stuff
i'm like this naturally
and the elephants
  -Alloni Kramer

I think I smell troll,
Not that you would catch the clue,
You Zorkless lamer! ;^)
  -Michael Hale

You thought that this would
Elicit a reply, eh?
You were correct, sir.
  -Josh Smith

What I want to know
is where JLL is at?
She started all this.
  -Michael Hale

I can't be certain
But I'm sure we'll be hearing
From her very soon
  -Josh Smith

oh, how I fear it
the horror, oh the madness
it comes for us all
  -Felix

Felix will eat at
Mongolian restaurant
then he will get full
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Felix will gather
much raw meat for the great chef
then it will be cooked
  -Felix

leaving for phoenix
at this really late hour
no abducted posts

i'll miss you, i think
ok, so that's a big lie
you'll be here later
  -grey

more like i am cursed
i tried to install unix
but it didn't work

so now i am mad
cause BSD won't install
oh dear god, why me?
  -Amy R. Dawson

"Who's the man?" "Nathan."
Eventually, he will stop
asking me dumb shit
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I wait suspenseful
soon my food will be present
with a McFurby
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

shhhhh. don't make a sound
I am stalking the caffeine
don't tell it I'm here.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

must not fall asleep
inhaler makes brain go hummmmmmmm
all hail asthma bong
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

bean's box is lonely
won't somebody fill it up?
I didn't mean *that*
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

alloni, my love
my mcfurby wants your bod
please don't let it down
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

much like your ranting
I stop reading hald way through
must they stink like poo?
  -ghostxxx

redundant that is
it repeats its concept thrice
redundant that is
  -ghostxxx

Shatner didnt sing,
he spoke over ambient,
Euphorius wrote.
  -ghostxxx

gratuity? no. 
he meant the end of his
very puny schlong
  -ghostxxx

Very funny Bitch,
But at least euphorius
is on radio!

Which is more than I
Can say about your punk ass
Mr. Wannabe ;^)
  -Michael Hale

let me tell you, man,
i'm saving the stinkiest
ones here just for you
  -Alloni Kramer

i'm sorry you think
that my shlong is so puny
you just don't thrill me
  -Alloni Kramer

capitalize ghostxxx?
Is it gHostxXx?
I can't remember.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

it doesn't matter
just use ghx
i'm sure he won't mind.
  -Amy R. Dawson

I re-iterate
Another time. I repeat
Again once more too.
  -Chris Wayne

theres five five and five
that is by no means haiku
try to get it right
  -ghostxxx

It's too fucking bad
I wasn't slick enough to
say this as haiku
  -Josh Smith

I have a chain mail bra
And stud-bitch boots.
And when I wear them together
I fall forwards.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin