. . .



...which brings to mind an interesting constitutional quandry: Is it proper to 
mention God when pledging allegiance to the Confederate flag?
  -Chris Wayne

The thing that gets me is the supreme irony of mentioning God while reciting an 
idolatrous prayer. I mean, seriously, you're pledging allegiance to a FLAG, 
declaring your undying loyalty to an inanimate object. Smacks of Baal-worship.
  -Chris Wayne

At a glance, it would appear you have a half-life.
  -Chris Wayne

Let me guess. Your panties say "Under God" across the ass.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I care! Just not about you.
  -AllonI Kramer

Me and the little lady is gonna celebrate by installing a public happiness 
camera and buying some war bonds! Happy Overlord Day!
  -Nathan Winant  (on the 4th, oddly enough)

Myself, I'm going to become an elf.
  -AllonI Kramer

You people are inbred.

Inbred for JUSTICE!

  -AllonI 'n Nathan

...funny.  I've never heard that used as an origin.  "Born of a tribe of 
hillbillies in Arkansas, The Red Neck uses the powers gained from centuries of 
inbreeding to fight crime!  With his mild mannered secret identity, Clark McCoy, 
the village idiot, The Red Neck is unstoppable... for justice!"...  That last 
bit sounds anime.  How odd.
  -AllonI Kramer

Remind me to plot murder so I can get my fantasies to be lived out.
  -AllonI Kramer  (re:  Minority Report)

I know this will shock people, but... monkeys just aren't enough.
  -AllonI Kramer

And now, panties for Jesus.

Note to self:  Wear panties.

  -Jennifer 'n AllonI

I am the one and only god.  As such, I can't blaspheme. Unless it's funny, 
anyway.
  -AllonI Kramer  (full of myself)

But on this mailing list I'm alone and solitary, a voice crying out in the 
night.

Then.. I'm sorry to say.. you're masturbating WAY too hard. Let your vital 
fluids replenish themselves, boy!

  -AllonI 'n Nori

I don't think I need to be spanked.  It's that sort of psuedo-fetishist new-age 
mumbo-jumbo that causes rickets and tennis elbow.
  -Derek Bradley

Practically on the ceiling? Is your cat hovering just below the ceiling? Is it 
spinning?
  -Garth Marlin

Back to cat.  The highest I have seen her is on my bed at night, except when the 
vacuum cleaner is on, in which case she finds the highest point, the furthest 
away.  There are definitely physics involved.  Otherwise, I think she guards me 
against aliens or something.
  -Johnston Reesor

I just spent the week cruising around the Caribbean. Six-toed cats, a visit to 
Hell and the land of the ceramic penis.
  -Garth Marlin

Do you know the pronunciation difference between "Thank you" and "diarrhea butt" 
yet? Very very important.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Nathan, this sentence made me realize something. The realization went something 
like this: How can you write a book on something that's unidentified? Wait a 
minute. If I see a flying object and I say, to myself "Hey! It's some flying 
object!" haven't I just identified it? I may have only identified it as a flying 
object, but that's still an identification. Suddenly, my faith in paranormal 
studies shudders. My faith in Nathan, however, remains intact.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

NEEDED:  One image of Jar Jar Binks in a bikini. Illegal immigrants may apply.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I have seen Death.  She is an elderly Vietnamese lady.  Sitting outside my C++ 
class, watching us as we left.  I tried not to attract her attention.  Very 
white skin, very black hair, very black wispy clothing.  Definitely Death.
  -AllonI Kramer

There's a guy taking massage classes with me.  And today before class he was 
telling me about all the girls he had practiced massage on this past weekend, 
with that lascivious gleam in his eye.  And I wonder.  Is he missing the point 
of massage?  Or am I?
  -AllonI Kramer

The problem with women today is that they're too independant.  If I should 
decide to, say, get all the money I possibly could from my girlfriend and then 
kill her, it wouldn't be a particulatly easy process.  I'd have to go to all the 
trouble of destroying her self-esteem so that she'd be willing to be browbeaten 
into giving up her fundage, and even then there's always the possibility of her 
going to a women's shelter or something of the kind before I get to the last of 
her savings.  Ah, for the good old days.  But not too far back, because if you 
go too far back the women weren't allowed savings to steal away.  Then you just 
took the dowries and left, and, really, where's the challenge?
  -AllonI Kramer

This fall! From director Steven Bochco, and the network that brought you 
_Everybody Loves Raymond_ comes a new kind of medical drama... Prognosis: 
Acceptable! Follow along with the men and women of Cleveland's St. Mediocritus:
"I need twenty CC's of erythromycin... at your earliest convenience!" 
  -Nathan Winant

He isn't aware of it, but there's a secret tribe of Amish dedicated to keeping 
an eye on him.

Oh, trust me. I'm aware of it. That's why I constantly surround myself with 
technology to jam the signals from their surveillance buggies. Besides, they're 
just soooo discrete: clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop.... "Halt thine 
buggies! There he is!" "Silence, Ezekiel! He shall hear thee!" "Mine apologies, 
brother Jebediah." "The Lord forgives thee. Deploy the listening quilts!"

  -AllonI 'n Chris

I was wondering about that horse-drawn carriage full of circus clowns that kept 
following me during my last vacation.
  -Chris Wayne

There should always be flash and fire at birthdays, soI will get you a supernova 
in our quadrant of the galaxy for your 50th.  Guaranteed total devastation.
  -Johnston Reesor

Note to self:  persuade the Amish to embrace modern listening technology.
  -AllonI Kramer

Cloning a Rasputin is amazingly easy.  You just cut one in half, and new 
Rasputins grow from the pieces.
  -AllonI Kramer

But now I can refreeze you and carve you into newer and naughtier shapes.
  -Garth Marlin

it's personal policy to never give money to anyone that calls me 'guy'.
  -Khanh Nguyen