. . .



"Stereotypes often reflect reality". Yeah, that's a phrase I wouldn't throw 
around here too much in america. We tried it for a while and... well, it didn't 
really work out for us.  Here, I'll give you an example: the stereotype of 
australians is... paul hogans and foster.
  -Nathan Winant

America understands the power of images. Assume that the image reflects reality, 
and you've played right into our hands.
  -Nathan Winant

Yeah, if you want to eviscerate yourself internally.

Have you been reading my diary again?

  -Chris 'n Alloni

if a hell exists, it is the phone company. i know pain.
  -ghostxxx

I notice a black book with gold lettering on the spine. It is apparently a book 
I must possess. Its title? "Water Buffalo Names as Compared to Rodeo Clown Names 
in the American Southwest." (much confusion)
  -Terence P. Higgins  (dreaming)

After years upon years of pained deliberation, I have realized my calling: I 
shall be a wealthy eccentric.
  -Nathan Winant

i'm gonna kill one of you each 18minutes 25seconds until i get a response.
  -Rafael Lemke

Nobody out here but us Fellow Christians and Future Millionaires.
  -Nori Essen

Did you ever have one of those days where you wanted to kill every single person 
on earth, but then decided that you didn't really want to be alone, totally 
alone for the rest of your life, and so amended that to killing everyone on 
earth except for your friends, family, and assorted loved ones, only to consider 
how miserable they would be (and, consequently, you would be) if all of their 
friends, family, and assorted loved ones were dead, and so decided to spare 
everyone that those whom you care about value, then taking into consideration 
how miserable those people might be, and therefore sparing all of their loved 
ones, and so forth, until eventually you end up having to spare every single 
person on earth, right back where you started? I hate it when that happens.
  -Chris Wayne

Abrade her breasts, sans nipples, with a toothbrush.

Sans nipples? Women like that? I guess Ed Geins had the right idea.

  -Nori 'n Chris

He looks a bit like our beloved Fuhrer of Feng Shui in that picture.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

As long as our Fuhrer still eats as slowly as I do, it's all good.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Well. I guess they don't know you very well. "Turn to the dark side." Hrmph. 
That implies that you *left*.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin (re:  Nathan)

Subsistence is feudal.
  -Chris Wayne

I just saw a small flesh-colored lump on my shoulder and thought, "Huh. Tumor." 
Then I poked it and realized that it was mustard and thought, "Oh. Mustard." 
Then I thought about it for a moment and thought, "Huh. Mustard tumor."
  -Nathan Winant

No, subsistance is more neolithic.  By the feudal age, while poverty and 
starvation was rife, many did live at above the subsistance level, by living off 
the work of others.
  -Alloni Kramer

My boss on the launch of earthsaversonline.com: "Its time light up the ole toob 
socks on the oil difusser in a moment of silence."
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I bet chicks dig the lightning fist.

You should see my crotch.

  -Chris 'n ghostxxx

The deviousity of that statement is mentally bafflating. u r 2 b thxd.
  -ghostxxx

If you'd like to see his crotch, I have a nice scan. With a Groucho Marx 
disguise.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

But the Mafia is just a front for the Chris Wayne.  And we all know who the 
Chris Wayne works for...  The successful merger of AllonI, That Freak Guy Inc 
and Nathan, The Man, "Nathan AllonI, That Freaky Man Guy Inc."  And all of them 
is my bitches.
  -Jason

My bitches can be, but "Nathan AllonI, That Freaky Man Guy Inc" (patent pending) 
will be sold in a live ebay auction on Oct 31.
  -Jason

jello wrestling - ghx and jenn, bataille royale.  tix $15 a head.
  -Johnston Reesor

Old internet handle.  Long ago, I was mistaken for a black american, pipe 
smoking, tweed wearing professor.  It stuck.  But, I alternately sign J.R. as 
well.
  -Johnston Reesor (aka tweed)

So I'm sitting at the bar with a friend. A woman comes up to us and asks if the 
"F" on the front of my baseball cap stands for "Phillies" (a baseball team from 
Philadelphia, for the foreigners among us). I weep for the future.
  -Chris Wayne

Final Fantasy rocks my li'l nadcentric world.
  -Nathan Winant

every time I read the words "Atlantis Massif", I hear an airhorn and drum'n'bass 
beats, and an MC shouting out "to the Atlantis Massif... who want's da 
rrrreeeeeeewwwwwwwiiiiiinnnnnnddddddddddd??!!!!!!"
  -Funky J

I saw this girl yesterday, a 400lbs Goth Eskimo.
  -Jason

My god! I have the same power. To put out streetlights; not walking with your 
girlfriend.
  -Gark Sommer

In other news:  MY ASS IS COLD!
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin (breaking report)

Great. Nathan is a madman with a woodie. Fabulous.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Hey, either it's either fire, or hermaphroditic alien virgins. Or in my case, 
fire AND hermaphroditic alien virgins.
  -Nathan Winant

That whole, self-improvement, personal challenge thing...it's all a ruse. You're 
just there for the hottie pyromaniacs. ;)
  -Trevor Walton

It's weird, the whole poi thing generally seems to attract two types of guys: 
hackers and pagans. On the other hand, it seems to attract exactly one type of 
girl: gothish leather-clad pyro hotties. It is truly The Sport Of Kings.
  -Nathan Winant

See, I consider the act of surrounding oneself with hottie pyromaniacs to fall 
well within the charter of "self-improvement".
  -Nathan Winant

Slowly, someone in a distant land turns gothwards.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Wait a minute... I recognize that. I recognize those poignant, earthy 
platitudes... You've been COMMUNING WITH ABOS again, haven't you?!?! Answer me, 
young man!!! What did we tell you about communing with abos? WHAT DID WE TELL 
YOU about communing with abos?!?!?
  -Nathan Winant

Is a spermogram delivered by Western Union?
  -Gark Sommer

theoretically i could be the hottie because the hottie is theoretical? maybe 
thats why all the problems we hear are in hypothetical terms... all the 
"hotties" are hypothetical!
  -ghostxxx

Damn Chinese.  We should put all our factories over there and make them breathe 
our smog. That will teach them.
  -Derek Bradley

When you go to an infected site do you get a screen blank except for the words 
"The Chinese Were Here"? That happened to me yesterday.
  -Nori Essen

Don't be ridiculous, Lemke doesn't need to worry about VD. I mean, it's not like 
he lives in BRAZIL or anything....
  -Nathan Winant  (yes.  he does.)

it seems like a scheme. CAPTAIN FLACID must be behind that.
  -Rafael Lemke





Official Abducted Burning Question Of The Month:  (Nori Essen)

So I have a cubicle temp job right now and Linda, the woman in the next cubicle, 
is fighting (loudly) on the phone with her now-ex boyfriend. The argument is 
over ownership of the expensive remote-controlled vibrator he bought for "them." 
Linda wants it, but apparantly he thinks he can keep it to use on future women.

Since everyone else in the office is a divorced woman (except me) we're all 
offering our opinions to help the fight along. I just pointed out that no woman 
would use someone's ex-girlfriend's vibrator. Linda says that this guy is 
convinced he can get away with it.

Poll: would you use a sex toy that had been used by your partner's former lover?

Me, no. Jennifer, no, but only because no one can match the breadth of her 
personal sex toy selection. Anyone else?