. . .



Actually, most christians are satanists.  They just don't realize it.
Let's see -- ritual cannibalism, using young girls as "breeders," secret
political agenda, check check check.
  -Jonathan Mayer

Again with the breasts!  Oy, how long must you torture me?
  -Jonathan Mayer

I must consume . . . JELLYFISH INNARDS!!!!!!!! Tm "a mortal food"
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

i justed upgraded my keychain to eight megs..
  -Captain Weird

I am still a gourd.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I don't remember too much of my childhood.  But I remember every episode of
"the Real Ghostbusters" I ever saw.
  -Jonathan Mayer

Are there really that many impotent males in america today?  Perhaps that
explains our foreign policy...
  -Jonathan Mayer

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean Nathan isn't crank calling me
cross-country at 2am Central.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

well ... my life is a form of performance art.  But only if it culminates
in self-immolation.
  -Jonathan Mayer

HEY PAUL!  LOOKOUT!   THERE'S A SQUID ON YOUR FACE!!!!
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Emacs has a foresty scent?
  -Paul Dito

I just got back from a wedding in vegas.  Nothing seems real anymore.
  -Jonathan Mayer

Math is useless anyway.  It can't even prove itself.

Much like religion. No?

  -Jonathan Mayer 'n Paul Dito

The best pants are the ones you can fit your whole head in...  Erm...  Not
that I tried that with my baggie pants or anything...  and not like I wear
a ton ov baggieness...  erm...  =o.o=
  -NukuNuku

Obviously a fluke. Goes against god's laws. Blahblahblah. BLAH! blahBlah.
  -Nathan Winant

Painfully boring, but it's a response to a response to a response to a
pose.  Whatever the hell a pose is.  (Actually, I know what a pose is. I
also know you followed up with a correction. That won't stop me from
brutally attacking a typo. Fuckin' typo.)
  -Paul Dito

Dear lord -- It's like wired magazine put to the johnny bravo theme song.
  -Nathan Winant

And you can't get sweet lovin' down by the fire if there ain't no fire.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

He's had it forever. but I don't want to accept the fact that I have sex on
the fur of a dead little cute baby bear cub.
  -Bean

So you look through the viewfinder and you see a photo of a painting.  In a
nice 3d frame.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Unless those are _our_ nukes India is testing.  Guess they work.  Thanks India!
  -Jonathan Mayer

Get past the ranting. Move to cynical derision. Trust me, it's SO MUCH easier.
  -Nathan Winant

And if your perspective moves your brain can use that to complete the depth
effect as well. Of course I don't really know what I'm talking about and
could be wrong.
  -Garth

A trembling shift manager pressed what I assume was the "wake up, Mr.
Computer, ha ha, enough kidding around, please don't die" button.
  -Adam Mayer

Fuckin' work email shit. Guess I can't really complain to the admin: "Hey!
When I send personal email to abducted, sometimes its delayed.  WTF?"
  -Paul Dito

I have consulted the Great Michael, He of the Hippopotamus sushi appetite.
The Great Michael offers this knowledge: the proper unit for one satisfying
meal consisting of sushi is measured a one unit of "orgasm."  Therefore, if
you don't eat enough, you're just not satisfied, and if you really gorge
yourself, you have "multiple orgasms."  All bow before the presence of The
Great Michael, for he hath spoken.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

You're a freak and I won't believe you only see in 2d until you show up in
a medical text book.
  -Garth (being posessed by Gibo)

The driver of a white Geo Prizm.  PA plate BNG-7476.  White male. early
20s, short blond hair.  Bring me his head.  I'll give you a dollar.  Five
if he suffers.
  -Chris Wayne

Women or happiness. The age-old dilemma.
  -Nathan Winant

i was walking around with my minidisc and bright yellow shirt and black
jacket. the telepathic exchange did not go as planned.  please explain.
  -grey

I see everything in 4D.. its neat.. I fall a lot.
  -Bean

Absolutely. Then again reality is just a figment of your imagination too,
so where does that leave us.
  -Garth

If I had the money for an animatronic yak, I'd put it into something
useful, like a glowing revolving Edison bust room dehumidifier and
cigarette lighter.
  -Alloni Kramer

When in doubt, emigrate from Wisconsin?
  -ghx

A Muppet killed my mother.
  -Alloni Kramer

And the best part...  Its all the fault of the French.
  -Garth

You are such a socket wrench!  (That sounds like it should be an insult,
[sound of nathan being dragged down a corrider to The Chamber] tripping in
front of a computer?  sounds kinda yucky.
  -ghx (from concentrate, or at least from script)

Boy I'm hungry. I think I could eat a big apple.

But thats not what really matters. What matters is that I am an Atomic Monster.

My arch-enemy... would be Mecha-Garth-Zilla
  -Garth (all in Gojira mode)

I were an Atomic Monster, I would be able to fly, turn invisible and shoot
lightning bolts from my eyes.

And this would be different from your current condition... how?

Well now I can shoot invisible lightning bolts out of my fly.
  -Garth and Nathan and Garth again

Thats absolutely true. Your gonna be allright. Why just earlier this
afternoon I was slipping into a coma from sheer boredom. And then my head
caved in.
  -Garth

Like the guy at McDonalds said, "I'm gonna make this coffee extra-hot,
'cause that old ladies hands look pretty shaky. This will be so funny."
  -More Garth

BTW  I'm SUPPOSED to sound this condescending.  I'm a pedagogue, it's my
job to be condescending.
  -Peter Twigg

I refuse to follow those articles, due to the fact that I will not breed
with a panda.  I mean, our dna isn't even compatable, so why bother?
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin (not doing her part for interspecies amity)

pooyi(sp? probably has none): pronounced POO-YIE, accent on both syllables.
Exclamation used by cajuns that is used in response to any statement of
something extreme.  Ex. "Man, I'm gonna go down to the French Quarter, me,
and get d.r.u.n.k, yeah.  Pooyi!"  "I cannot believe that bitch lit my
house on fire, Pooyi!"  "Then aliens came down and gave me an anal probe,
Pooyi!"  "And there were carwfish everywhere!  Pooyi!"
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Speaking of perl scripts, where is Bean?
  -Garth

haven't you noticed some of those perl scripts have been killed and
replaced by REAL PEOPLE?
  -Rafael Lemke

Thats a lie. I never said such a thing. And since I can't sue you, I will
now have to trample your city.
  -Garth (proving, once more, why you shouldn't trifle with him)

Tonight I read a poem to my combined poetry group (thrice as big as usual)
and everybody squirmed when I got to "I would saute my nipples in butter
and a nice wine sauce."
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin (proving, once more, why you shouldn't trifle with her)

"Think outside the box."  "Yes. We are all thinking outside the box."  "I'm
not!"
  -Nathan Winant

You're out of your mind aren't you?

That is, of course, a rhetorical question on this list.
  -Garth and Chris Wayne

We're not celibrating. We're calibrating. Much more important. It's
national probe calibration day.
  -grey

But have you calibrated your celibacy? If it is not within .325 picas of
the national standards, you may be involation of statute 935872 of the US
Federal Celibacy Calibration Act.
  -grey

You know, maybe you should run. I mean maybe its just because I work in an
explosives plant and all, but, if I came in and everybody was gone and the
alarm light was on, I wouldn't stop to post to the list.
  -Garth (making a good point)

Thanks for the warning.  It turns out it was just a poison gas scare.
  -Peter Twigg (master of understatement)

Don't question the whim of the consumer.  The consumer is more numerous
then you are, and can crush you like an insect if it is so inclined.
  -Alloni Kramer

You get golf carts at your job? All I got was a mug.
  -Paul Dito

For instance, if you wanted to steal fire from the apes in the next
building. You'd need a golf cart.
  -grey

She right. We building two tribe. We strong. Kill building twenty tribe.
They have golf cart. We have cord.
  -Garth

A golf cart with a 20mm cannon is very useful for stealing fire from apes.
  -Paul Dito

Hello there. Giles Bowkett has sponsored you as "Fellow alum" as part of
something called sixdegrees(tm).
  -sixdegress (proving that Gibo still loves us)

So, what you're saying, is that you're The Degree of Seperation.
  -Nathan Winant

I think I've already played directly into their asian
all-americans-are-lazy-drug-crazed-sex-crazed-but-occasionally-useful-oafs
stereotype.
  -Jonathan Mayer

If everyone else on earth goes by American movies and television, they may
not know that a surprisingly large number of Americans don't actually live
in New York or California.
  -Chris Wayne

Hoorah for those carrying on the weirdo gene pool!
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Just the other day, someone asked me if I ever met an allison I liked.  I
had to say no, I hadn't. He then pointed out that allison is nosilla
backwards.
  -grey

Copernicus ate the nuclear swan.  And then the potato ate him, thus proving
once again the incredible lightness of Ernest.
  -Alloni Kramer (international sex symbol)

Why the hell do clock towers have so many steps??  Don't these people
realize that rifles and ammo are HEAVY???
  -Chris Wayne

So we took like 10 pictures of uus torturing the cheesecake.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

It's like being in britain, but tasty.  Wait. I think... I think I have
just defined America.
  -Nathan Winant

When you reach that place utterly devoid of all meaning, that place beyond
angst, just past desperation, you know, right between moribud despair and
vacuous futility, the graveyard of dreams and the bloodsoaked battleground
of hope, ye olde home of fear and death and pain ... ... send me a
postcard.
  -Jonathan Mayer



The Official Abducted "Awwwwww..." Moment Award goes to Bean, who blew all
our minds by saying:  (Bean)

ooh, wait.. I think this one is gonna take the cake.
I'm gonna be a mommy.


And the Official Abducted Totally Out Of The Blue And Pointless Discussion
Award goes to:  (Jennifer Lynn Larkin)

UNIT VECTORS!