. . .



That's right! I second that motion, and yes, I'd like a biscuit on the side
if you don't mind.
  -R&J Gassaway

I have the proportional strength, speed, and agility of a guy around 5'4"!
  -Alloni Kramer

So you're strong, fast, agile, taller than 5'4" *and* you have short man's
complex?
  -Paul Dito

My calculator is my best friend.  Should I be worried?

not if you can plug to it..

Hell yeah, I can plug into it, I even- er...nothing.  I meant nothing...

  -Martha Motherboard 'n Paul Dito 'n Martha Motherboard

shit.  amybody can juggle produce.  I used to work in a soup restaurant.  I
juggled soup.  before that, I used to pocket juggle, until the palm hair
started...
  -LON

well, they removed out privelege to use our "instant chat" software at
work, i am now classified as a disgruntled worker. if i were working in the
US post office, 10 would be dead by now. since i DONT work for USPO, i will
now be rude to customers.
  -ghostxxx

After all, straight razors are so classic, so timeless, so potentially life
threatening...  ... At this point, those who've known me for a while are
shaking their heads sadly and preparing to write me off for dead.
  -Nathan Winant

Explaining why I wanted a straight razor required me to say it was for
"some lunatic from the internet." Hope you don't mind.

That's what I am, aren't I?

  -Chris 'n Nathan

Which leads me to think, that was God in that little Hyundai. I was cut off
by God while driving on a texas highway.
  -ghostxxx

It takes a special skill to make a photoshop document look like it was
generated by MS Paint...
  -Bean

That's funny; my driving instructor always said to panic and flail the
wheel wildly left and right while screaming incoherently until a convenient
obstacle slows you down enough to regain control.
  -Chris Wayne

However, I can make out the image of a ring tailed lemur fornicating with
an amoeba, or perhaps it's shag carpet devouring a faucet. Not quite sure
what that's supposed to mean, but I imagine NASA will have a good
explanation.
  -R&J Gassaway

Uhm... not to be rude or anything... but could you two please stop arguing
and start slapping each other? Thanks.
  -Nathan Winant

What is science these days, some kind of cult?  We mere mortals think there
might be something interesting on Mars worth investigating, but the Real
Scientists are merely humouring our trendy fascination.  Real Scientists
know that there was no civilization on Mars because it goes agains the Real
Scientist Dogma.  Real scientific of those Real Scientists, donchya think?
  -Jonathan Mayer

... say bean, are you by any chance, a nun? Just checking......
  -Nathan Winant

I prefer to chop up the aliens and blend them in a citrusy frozen shake,
personally.  The vitamin C accelerates the uptake of the alien materials
across the blood barrier into the brain.
  -Jonathan Mayer

why aren't there any telerabbis anyway?  the dalai telelama?
  -Jonathan Mayer

I'm not new; I've just been hiding.  For oh, about two years. Something
about being unable to unsubscribe.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

I've got Blondie stuck in my head. Not one of her songs. I've actually had
Deborah Harry stuck in my head for three weeks now.
  -Garth

There is only one Abducted Gibo, whether he be present or far away; whether
time be motion or stasis; whether aliens be here or elves be there. My name
is Gibo, Gibo of Gibos; look on me, ye netlings, and despair.
  -Gibo (wherever he is)

Hmmmmmm...Mary unsubs. Giles mysteriously reappears minutes later...  I
wonder......nah!
  -Paul Dito

"Psst, hey buddy -- I'll trade you my $20 bill for your $20 bill."
"Why?  What have you ... done with it?"
  -Jonathan Mayer

"Coming down the ramp, dressed in a perky pink chiffon with black lace
trim, and a stunning pale blue parasol with the words 'You know you want
me' embroidered on it in red, number 67, Jonathan Mayer!"
  -Alloni Kramer

Man, I had godlike powers before, and now I've just got godlike powers and
a fuckin HOLE in my head.  Those bastards told me it'd make me PERMANENTLY
HIGH.  Buncha fuckin charlatans.  Permanently high my ass.  Did clear up my
migraines though.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin

Great.  Now I have to wrack my brain trying to think of some way to keep
the conversation on "breasts."   Perhaps I'll get back to it...
  -Jonathan Mayer

There will be a dedication on the second Sunday of next month sponsored by
the Lewis Mumford Preservation Society. The Byzantine Garnet Squad will
perform a song. Fridtjof Nansen will not attend because he is dead.
  -R&J Gassaway

Franny, I don't care how many times you can say the Jesus Prayer if you
can't have the common decency to eat a consecrated larvae when it's offered
to you.
  -Jonathan Mayer

I love you too, bean. But you're not getting my [insert commerical product
here].
  -grey

Actually, Alloni does look more the part of the Scruffy Savior.  He'd also
strike a better pose nailed to a plank of wood.
  -Jonathan Mayer

Actually I'm both. All three. The Garth, the Jesus and the Alloni Spirit.
  -Garth

Try melting an AOL CD in the 'wave...makes lotsa sparks!
  -Eric J. Gustafson

Uh, if anyone shows up at your place claiming that they are taking you away
to Betty Ford's Tough-Love Forced Rehab Clinic in the Arizona desert, tell
them I said "Nevermind."
  -Paul Dito

... This was to be the death of the Great Prophet, and the birth of the
Lineage of Pillow Lickers.
  -Nathan Winant

First order of business is to eliminate false prophets. We are now a
communism. Or wait. What is a group of people who practice communism? A
commune? That doesn't sound at _all_ threatening to American Values [tm].
It doesn't even sound like it'd upset the enclaves of wild potato herders
in Idaho.
  -grey

Gods are good at giving signs right? Well I need a sign. One that says
"SECRET AGENT 42" and has one of those little spy vs spy guys.
  -Garth

For weeks, about ten of us would scream "MORTAL FOOD!!!!" everytime we went
to the dorm snack machine.  Excuse me but I must consume a corndog now.
  -Jennifer Lynn Larkin



Entertaining threads:  (various)

Large breasts

Cartman

Saviors

Mr. Mortal Food