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Abducted
Bestest Friends Network
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[T-NotPotO-ERO$-I]
[ The-NewsletterofthePostingoftheOfficial-EmployeeRosterof$ubvert-Inc. ]
[v0.9y] [96.10.01]
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New Dribble:
Greetings, all you banana lovers! Yes, it is indeed the 1st of October so here
is v0.9y of []. I know most of you will not read this, and thas okay. Those of
you who do read this feel free to send in anything that you might want to see
in the next version. I did include a quotes section, which are some memorable
quotes from the last months posts here on abducted. Comments on are welcome...
Standard Dribble:
If you would like a title in $ubvert Inc., just declare your title on abducted
and i will record it for the next version of the roster (if you don't see your
title on the next version of the list, mail me until it's on). If anyone would
like to see the roster at any time, for any reason, or need your title edited,
just post a request or mail me. That's all for now...
PS - I know there are some way-out-of-date email addresses etc. So mail me.
-Your Editor and Way-Cool Hyper-Intelligent Pan-Dimensional Being,
[Jester]
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Main Section is totally blank, so send your stories, rants, raves,
poems,
songs, pot recpies, alien blueprints, wacked-out ascii pix etc. to me at:
Jester <ub168@freenet.victoria.bc.ca>
with "[] Submitions" in the subject line.
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:|I!0P Q U O T E S S E C T I O N `0!I:
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Here are some memorable quotes from posts on Abducted in the past month:
If you can't kill it and you can't eat it, there's only one thing to
do. Send it to me and I'll have sex with it.
-Giles Bowkett
Funky J, really gets on my tits. Are you a mature person or an idiot??
-Amanda V
Hmm. you know, that actually sounds kind of sexy. say it slow. "abduct
me, baby." in a low tone of voice. I like it.
-Giles Bowkett
You too can be assimilated, just add an .au to your email address!!
-M.J.Schmerl
If it's not filthy, make something up.
-Garth Bryan Marlin
I would love a big frosty root beer. And a copy of a Goldfinger album. But
nobody asked me. Go figure.
-K.T.
On the off chance Santa's reading this, I would love an Indigo^3, a clone
of Stefanie Seymour to have sex with me and do my dishes, and a handgun.
-Giles Bowkett
Please accept my apology, I'll even do anything for ammends (from scarring
and melted wax to feathers and honey, only if I can keep the empty honeybear
for a bong).
-Ian Kramar
I feel like a gaffed tuna.
-LON
Computer, make the air burst with fractal imagery, make the walls sing with
the psychedelic beats of Richie Hawtin and Speedy J, Computer generate the
following people to entertain me : Tim Leary, William Burroughs, Ronald
Reagan, and Rupert Murdoch. Computer put heaps of funky and bizarre shit all
over the place. Computer, hit me with 300 micrograms of pure LSD.
-Felix
Any REAL computer doesn't need keys, just row after row of unlabeled toggle
switches and dials and maybe a big shiny red self-destruct button. If you're
lucky, you'll get one with a cheap synthesized voice and a megalomaniacal
tendency to rule and/or destroy humanity.
-Chris Wayne
I managed to configure my keyboard to sound like an old manual
typewriter. a
truly ghastly act. quite effective tho.. it made a sort of "tck" noise for
regular keys, "tch-ck" for the space key, and a "Fzz-chk" for return. I
thought it was amusing. then my roomates shot my nose off.
-Derek Robb
I just have better things to do than use my shift key.
-grEy
That Hitler guy, he was bad news.
-Lon Huber
For one cannot find drugs in the suburbs, much less get your dick sucked in
an alley, because these behaviors are frowned upon in suburbia.
-Chris Wayne
We return to our 24-7-365 job of keeping up with the Joneses, knowing full
well that if we lived in the city, we could kill the Joneses and take all of
their cool stuff.
-Chris Wayne
Smoking weed gets you high.
-K.T.
I like to think I can pretend I care well enough to make people think I
actually care for at least long enough to get what I want from them and then
discard them like the wrappings on fast food.
-Lon Huber
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[96.10.01]
-01-
Self-Appointed Demi-God:
Troy Sheets <tsheets@chaph.usc.edu>
-02-
Grand Incubator (and the guy who hands out the checks):
Giles Bowkett <dashwood@flat-earth.org>
-03-
Guardian of [], and Way-Cool Hyper-Intelligent Pan-Dimensional Being:
Jester <ub168@freenet.victoria.bc.ca>
-04-
Spiritual Advisor:
Lon Huber "Swami Propagananda" <buzz@crl.com>
-05-
Head Stud-Bitch in Charge of The Three "B's" (Blasphemy, "BoB" and huB caps):
Jennifer Lynn Larkin <jlarki1@tiger.lsuiss.ocs.lsu.edu>
-06-
Head SpellChecker, Chief Editorial Consultant, Content Maven, and Guru of
Research:
chickadee <Eva_Maddox@odp.tamu.edu>
-07-
Office slut/eccentric female type who doesn't do any actual work, yet serves
a vital function:
melpie <MelpomeneX@aol.com>
-08-
Lightning Invocation and Teamaking:
"The Rev. Daev Hellshaw" <hellshaw@internet-eireann.ie>
-09-
Token slow toxic amphibian:
Craig Lauxman aka The Newt King <hpcprod@lcc1.nsc.com>
-10-
Minister of Propaganda:
Ross <biovid@teleport.com>
-11-
The guy with no point:
Tom Porcella <red5@loop.com>
-12-
Interdepartmental Discombobulator, Assistant to the Assistant of the
Vice-Fifth Wheel:
Schabe Up or Ship Out <schabe@minn.net>
-13-
Vice-president in charge of sitting around the break room drinking coffee
and talking about quiting this lousy outfit sometime soon, real soon, any
day now, just as soon as he pays off his student loan:
Rob Loftis <jbob@merle.acns.nwu.edu>
-14-
Cancer Man-type go between:
Pete Twigg <mtlpct@LUCS-MAC.NOVELL.LEEDS.AC.UK>
-15-
Co-Founder & Co-President of Rocks-In-A-Box Inc. An affiliate of The
Pirate Squid Club, and a co-conspirator with $ubvert Inc.:
Rick Acquistapace <babar@value.net>
-16-
Chief consultant in the use of militant force, training of the feeble minded,
operations of all things in the armory that go BANG or BOOM, and the guy in
charge of bringing the keg:
LAZ Patron Saint of beer under LON <lazarus40k@usa.pipeline.com>
-17-
Demi-goat, Serpent, Snake-god and patron saint of grievous carnality:
asphyxia <moorep@ucsub.colorado.edu>
-18-
The Power Behind the Throne:
Catherine <ckelly@bgnet.bgsu.edu>
-19-
Mr Candyman sir:
Matthew Lane <ndcb4204@brklands.demon.co.uk>
-20-
Intern Herder:
Justin <Justin_Bowers@BAYLOR.EDU>
-21-
-22-
Defender of Pudding:
Derek Robb, King of the Moon <aieeee@tezcat.com>
-23-
The messy-haired guy who is always at the computer in his cubicle making
beatbox noises and nodding to music only he can hear:
Andrew Cone <andrew.cone@infoway.com>
-24-
Vice-President in charge of Network Doom games:
Erik Geiger <GEIGER@persoft.com>
-25-
The guy in charge of dealing with crazy x-philes:
Joseph Mitchel Comeau <ak561@ccn.cs.dal.ca>
-26-
Vice-Presinent in charge of keeping morale intact by beating
anyone in the company which is down in his spirits:
<jcaminit@lynx.dac.neu.edu>
-27-
Diety-level Janitor:
Lon Thomas <thomasl@indirect.com>
-28-
The all important name at the bottom of the list or something:
Justina Curtis <justina@peg.apc.org>
-29-
The guy over there, you know "him":
Erik <erik@tiac.net>
-30-
Mistress Raver, Herder of Cats:
Beth Bieber <ebieber@eden.com>
-31-
Lord of Ellipses, Defender of Semicolons,
Protector of Uncomfortable Silences:
Pope Paisley Lemming, the, KNS, KSC, MULC, R.S.V.P of the Lesser Temple
of the Greater Platypus, Shaken, Not Stirred <paisley@poboxes.com>
-32-
The Lesser Descendant of a Yak Inhaler:
Tymm Twillman <tymm@tiger.coe.missouri.edu>
-33-
That guy over there in the corner talking to "things" and Resident Fruitcake:
Alien aka Rick, "The Reclusive One" <kekedust@ix.netcom.com>
-34-
Chief Doktor of Forbidden Sciences:
Rev. Jack Nutting <jnutting@is.com>
-35-
Sterile Cunt:
Paul <CPCDSC@tevm2.nsc.com>
-36-
Chief Lifeguard, StereoTyping Pool:
"K.T. Wiegman" <kt@webstorm.com>
-37-
Southern Hemisphere Propoganda Director. Most probably a Spy:
Felix <Derek.Bradley@cmc.com.au>
-38-
Yak Herder, and keeper of the Transdimensional Llamas:
Interstellar Groovy Dave <davidcb@kuoi.asui.uidaho.edu>
-39-
Hen teaser and Head of the Making People
Wonder What I'm Talking About project:
Garth Bryan Marlin <garthm@tgn.net>
-40-
The guy who can't keep feet out of his mouth, but
Glenn <gmorris@bssc.edu.au>
-41-
The guy who presses the button that doesn't actually
do anything, but makes a hell of a racket:
Julian <funkyj@geocities.com>
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