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Too much joy

"Any ideas as to where it comes from? Who's selling around here?"

The storekeeper looked shifty a moment. "Well, I don't really know. Haven't seen anybody with that kind of look hanging around. It could be from anywhere."

"Yeah. My partner or myself will be contacting you in the next couple of days, in case you come up with anything. Thanks for your time."

Thanks for your time. The guy was dealing, it was easy to tell, but I had no proof, and without it, no conviction. So I was going to have to let him go, just like I'd had to let all the others go. Orders from above. No arrests unless you can make good on them, and so far, we hadn't been able to.

On the way out, I passed by the two new ones already being piled into the ambulance. Wouldn't do them any good, just like all the others. They weren't getting any better. My partner was chatting up one of the ambulance drivers. He'd seen too many sights like this to really be affected any more. I thought I had too, until I happened to catch the look on the face of one of the victims. It reminded me of something. It reminded me of the look on my mother's face after her third heart attack, when she was Born Again. She had a look on her face like she'd seen god. These looked like that, but more so - like all they could see was god.

Poor bastards. Poor, poor bastards.

We had to track down the manufacturers. We'd taken down a few of the dealers, but it was always the same story. They'd claim innocence, and all the evidence would myseteriously disappear when someone's back was turned, and all the witnesses would misidentify them, and alibis would come up proving they'd been with their dear sweet momma's the whole afternoon, and what had been an ironclad case would suddenly start looking more like tissue paper. There had to be someone big protecting them. I was hoping finding out who made the stuff would be the first step in finding out who that someone big was.

I tapped my partner's shoulder to get his attention. "Come on. We're moving." He shot me a mock glare. "Can't you see I'm talking with this gentleman here?" I looked the ambulance driver up and down. Cute, but I wasn't into guys at the moment. "Trade phone numbers and let's get out of here. I'll meet you back at the car."

In the car, the heat was unbelievable. It was looking to be a hot summer, and we were all sweltering in our uniforms. I turned on the air conditioner while I waited. A couple moments of blissful coolness, then it coughed and died. Damn it all anyway. I rehearsed creative curses in my head, then just hauled off and punched the thing. As I rubbed my sore fist, there was a knock on the window. I looked up, expecting to see my partner. Instead, a scrawny looking kid stood there. Her cheekbones stood out sharply against her face. Probably hadn't had a good meal in weeks. Dressed in clothes whose original color was a mystery.

"Excuse me, sir?" Polite, too. Just don't expect that these days. "Sir?"

"Yes, miss? Do you need some money?"

She stepped back, shaking her head. "It's not that, sir. There's, um, there's something that you need to see. Something important."

"Like what, miss?"

"Well... I can't tell you. You won't believe me. I just have to show you."

Now, normally, I'd think this was a trap. Some street gang wanted to make a rep for themselves by beating up a cop, and I was being decoyed into an alleyway where they could all take me down at once without seeing any of them. But there was something about her. Something pure. I just couldn't believe that sort of thing of her. "All right, miss. As soon as my partner gets here -"

"No! Just you! Only you can see this!"

Again I wanted to think there was something wrong with this, and again my suspicions vanished before the look on her face. "I'll just write a note for him, then."

She stood impatiently, shifting from foot to foot, as I scribbled down a few words of explanation. Once I finished, she was off like a shot, darting toward a nearby abandoned tenement building. I followed, a bit slower.

Inside, the reek of urine filled the air, and I covered my nose as we headed upstairs. We went up two floors, then around a corner, and through an open door. And there, busy, packing up some crates, was the angel.

It (and it was definitely an it, not a he or a she) was tall, with a fineness to its features and a grace to its actions that spoke of nobility. A glow hung in the air about it, emphasising every movement. The wings were a clean white and wavered gently in the breeze from the open window. A small voice inside me told me that I should be prostrating myself toward this miracle. The voice of Catholic school, probably. My natural skepticism was telling me to look for wires and cameras, but I ignored that one as well.

"Hello?" I said, quietly, so as not to startle it.

It turned fluidly in my direction, closing the crate in the same movement. "Good day unto you, child. How may I be of assistance?" Its eyes spoke of eternity, and I wanted to flee, knowing that I wasn't worthy of this honor.

"Are you... an angel?"

"I am. I am a messenger from God Above."

"W, why are you here?"

"I have come to show you the way back to the Light."

"What? Have we-"

"You have chosen to abandon God's ways. But God is ever merciful, and He has caused me to come unto this place to bring you back to salvation."

"I am not worthy. I am weak, I am sinful-"

"That is for Him to decide. Trust in His love. He will never leave you. Now go. When the time is right, you too shall be sanctified."

I couldn't disobey. I turned and headed outward, my mind whirling with new thoughts. Eventually, I felt something tugging at my sleeve. It was the girl.

"Sir? Sir? Are you all right, sir?"

"I have seen an angel. I may never be all right again."

"So you see why I wanted to show you, sir?"

"Well, of course. I mean, an angel-"

"No, not the angel, sir! The boxes!"

The boxes? They had barely registered in my thoughts compared to the wonder of god's creature. "What about the boxes?"

"The boxes! They're the same ones that were in that store you were in earlier, the one which those two people OD'd on Joy in front of. I thought it might be important to you, sir. I thought it was a clue."

Now that she mentioned it, I did recall a few unlabeled crates scattered around the store that had the same look to them. But... no. Had to be a coincidence. "How do you know they're the same ones?"

"Can't you? They glow."

"They what?"

"They glow. Not much, so it's hard to tell, but if you look close you can see it."

"I... I'm going to head back to the store to check that out. Is there... anything I can do for you? Anything at all?"

"No, thank you, sir. 'Bye!" And she ran off before I could grab hold of her.

Thinking deeply, I headed back to the store. Could it be? I wanted to reject the very idea out of hand, but my training wouldn't let me. So I was going to check out evidence that an angel was involved in a drug ring.

Back at the car, my partner was waiting. "After all the hassle I get from you, I show up and you aren't here?"

"Something... came up. I may have a lead, I guess."

"You guess? This isn't about guessing. You either have one or you don't. Which is it?"

"I have one. I just hope it doesn't pan out."

"Now I'm really confused. So where do we go?"

"Back to that store. I need to check out something else."

We headed inside once more and looked around. The crates were still there, scattered around the store. I headed towards one of them.

"Excuse me? I thought you had gone already."

"One thing we forgot to check out."

"Well, I hope you don't mind, but I have a business to run. Would you come back later, say, after business hours?"

"This will only take a moment." I stepped around him and continued to walk toward the crate. The store owner interrupted again.

"I'm afraid I can't allow you to open anything. There are some supplies that can get spoiled if you expose them to air. Kept in specially sealed crates."

"Oh, like this one over here?"

"Yeah, like that one."

She had been right. It was glowing faintly.

"Would you open the crate for me, sir?"

From somewhere, the store owner summoned up some backbone. "Not unless you have a warrant, officer."

That was all right. I didn't need to see the contents. It was flimsy, and would be laughed out of a court of law, but I knew. Now I needed to know why. Which meant going back to the angel. The thought made me shaky inside. Part of me wanted to make apologies for it. It's an angel, god sent it here, it must have its reasons, right? It would explain everything.

I walked back to the tenement house, slowly. My partner tried to ask questions, but I told him that he'd have the answers in just a couple moments. We went up the two flights of stairs, around the corner, through the door, and there it was again, still packing up more of the crates. At my partner's sudden gasp it whirled, then settled down. "Why, you've returned! And you've brought a companion."

Doing my best to ignore it, I walked up to a crate and peered at it. No question about it. It probably picked up some of the glow from the angel, somehow. Extended contact, or something. I didn't really care. I was too busy feeling traumatised. "You... you bastard!"

My partner stared at me. "Are you crazy? This is an angel!"

"It's also the source of Joy. Right, pal?"

"Yes."

"Why? Just tell me that."

"I already have. Obviously, simply telling you God's ways is insufficient, as you have all left the path. You must be shown."

"So the Joy..."

"Brings you back to God."

"I-"

"There is plenty of Joy here, children. More than enough for everybody. Come. Come back to God. Revel in His Truth."

His face shining, my partner stepped forward. He dropped to his knees, as if this were Mass, and opened his mouth. Reverently, the angel placed a small wafer on his tongue. Instantly, a look of peace appeared on my partner's face. He bowed low before the angel, then slowly crumpled to the ground.

The angel turned to me. "Now it is your turn. Return to the God that you have forsaken."

I took a step forward... then turned and ran from the room.

It's been a week since then. I've been in hiding here ever since. I'm leaving this message so you'll know what's going on, and why I've done this. I hope you'll believe me.

If God has decided to end it like this, who am I to stand in His way?