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Calling without a phone

We were never lovers. I don't swing that way, and I don't think she does either. We were close enough, though. If we did, we would have been, and I don't mind admitting it. We even came close to trying it once. Neither of us were quite that drunk, though.

We were roommates. For years we were roommates. And for years before that we were friends, way back when we were young. I don't remember how it started. We lived next to eachother when we were young, but it wasn't that. All I remember was lying in our respective beds talking. Didn't matter that we weren't in the same room at the time. Once we figured out how to do it without waking anyone, neither of us really wanted to get out of our warm covers to walk through the cold Minnesota air. Kids learn fast.

When we were older, of course, we eventually figured out that not everyone could. "Kathy," I said to her once, during a dull moment in class, "how come we can talk like this and nobody else can?"

"I always figured it was 'cause we're soul-sisters." She loved to say things like that. She was into crystals and hippies and oneness with nature before anyone else I knew. That time, though... she might've been right. We smiled at eachother, and quickly looked back at the teacher so she would think we were paying attention.

"Help me, Amanda... Please... I didn't know..."

Whenever I needed a hand with something, she was there for it. Whenever she needed comforting over her latest breakup, that was my job. Rain, shine, summer, fall, no matter what changed, the one eternal was that we had each other.

You're right that it had to end some time. You're wrong about how it ended. It wasn't that we both fell in love with the same guy, or that she got into a bad scene and I couldn't watch her throw her life away, or that we got abducted by aliens or anything like that. We just drifted apart, after a while. You can only be so close to someone for so long, and we hit that point. I moved out of town, went off on my life, she went off on hers. We kept in touch, though. Saved money on long distance.

A month ago, out of the blue, she asked me, "Amanda? You want to get together sometime?"

I finished rubbing the dirt off Danny's shirt and shoo'd him away. "You mean, in person? Like old times?"

There was an odd catch in her voice. "Yeah. Just like old times, Amanda."

"I'd like that."

Three days later, she showed up on my front doorstep, dirty and bedraggled, clutching a suitcase crammed full of posessions to her chest and looking miserable. "Do you mind if I stay here a while?"

"Kathy! You look like... I'm not going to tell you what you look like. Come right in and have something to eat and tell me about it."

With some food in her belly and a cup of steaming coffee in her hands she looked better. She started telling me about her latest messy breakup, and how he had mistreated her, and all the familiar things that she used to say whenever her flings ended. I just sat there and let it all wash over me.

"... so I'm kinda out of places to go, and I thought of you, and was just wondering - "

"Of course you can stay here. Long as you need to. You think I'm going to kick you back out on the street?"

She smiled at me gratefully. "I was worried. We haven't talked much in the past few years."

I patted her on the knee. "Don't worry. It'll be just fine."

It was great, at first. Just like old times, as she kept saying. Just like old times. We did everything together, like we used to. But... we were different now. I didn't need someone else to do everything with. And I certainly didn't need someone who I could never get away from, who awoke me every morning with "Good morning, sunshine!" no matter the season, no matter the hour. She was bright and cheerful and the kids loved her and David loved her and life was brighter for everyone... except me.

Last night, we went out walking. She chattered on brightly, as usual. Just the two of us, out near the old well. Eventually, I broke in. "Kathy? I was just thinking. You've been here a while, and I wanted to know when you were going to move back out again?"

"That's what I wanted to tell you! I hadn't realized how much I missed this until I was back here with you. I talked with your husband about it, he's just thrilled, and Danny and Michael both really like me, so... I'm going to stay!"

"WHAT?"

"I'm going to live with you permanently! Isn't that good news?"

I snapped. That's the only explanation for it, I suppose. I hope I hadn't had it in me all that time, festering, waiting for the right moment to come out. "NO! IT ISN'T GOOD NEWS! I had a life here without you, before you came and took it back over, just like you used to! You come in, and it's all about you you you, always you! I was happy! I HAD SOME GODDAMN PEACE AND QUIET WITHOUT YOU ALWAYS TALKING IN MY HEAD!" All throughout I was advancing on her, driving her further and further back. She shook her head the whole time, covering her ears, trying to drown out the flood of vitriol coming out of my mouth, but she couldn't. She couldn't get away from it. She staggered two more paces back... and disappeared.

"AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." *SPLASH*

"Amanda? Amanda? Help me up, Amanda. I've fallen into some kinda well. Get me outta here, Amanda. Lower me a rope or something. Please."

I looked down into the well for a moment. Long enough for me to see her floating, far below. And I walked away.

My family accepted my explanation of where Kathy had gone. Now all I have left is her voice. Her weakening voice. "Amanda..."

It's fading more now.

Soon it'll be gone entirely.