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Pigtails

Brian was a little boy who lived in the suburbs with his mommy and daddy. His mommy and daddy both loved him very much, and he loved them very much in return. They all lived together happily for some years.

One day, however, Brian's mommy said to him, "Brian, it's time for you to go to school."

Brian was a very little boy, and had never been to school before. He looked up at his mommy trustingly and said, "What's school like?"

His mommy smiled. "School is a fun place with lots of other little boys and girls there. They teach you the things you need to learn to succeed in life. And there are all sorts of games and activities, and they give you cookies and juice, and it's all just loads of fun!"

Brian smiled back at his mommy. School sounded great! He could hardly wait to go!

The very next day, Brian woke up bright and early and got ready for school. First, he dressed himself, putting on his underwear, shirt, pants, socks, and shoes, though he was so excited that he accidentally put his shoes on first and then tried to put his socks on over them. He laughed when he realized his mistake, and took of fhis shoes so he could put his socks on and then his shoes on over them. Then he went downstairs for a hearty breakfast of cereal and milk and an apple, and then his mommy drove him to school.

Later that day, Brian's mommy picked him up from school and drove him home, and as she drove she chattered merrily to him about what she had done that day. Brian was silent. When they had just gotten inside, his mommy turned to Brian and asked him what he had learned during his first exciting day at school.

Brian looked up at her. "I learned a lot of things.

"I learned that people are mean and cruel and like inflicting needless pain on others. I learned that everyone is trying to get everything they can for themselves no matter who they hurt along the way. I learned that no cookies, no matter how tasty, can compensate for the misery of daily life. I learned that, for most, life is long and indescribably awful, and that the only ones for whom this is not true are the ones who die early. I learned that those who have power over me abuse that power, and those that don't have power attempt to gain it. And I learned that you should never trust anyone, because they all lie to you, even those closest to you."

Brian's mommy smiled. "It sounds like school is definitely teaching you the things you need to know to succeed in life! I'm so proud of you, Brian!"

And together, the two of them went into the kitchen to get more of those delicious cookies. Mmmmmm! Cookies!