. . .

I hate this

Whine whine whine, complain complain complain, asthma asthma asthma.

There. Now that's over with. I can proceed to be random.

Well? Go on. Don't be shy.

Well, let's check the checklist. Who's turn is it? Random idea #57? Where is R.I. 57?

He went home, sir. He said he felt ill.

Really?

Well, he said it in his own... particular way, sir. You know 57.

What exactly were his words?

Well, um, I don't remember exactly, sir.

To the best of your recollection, then.

Um. "Pheeswitz excelsior trying the handle of god to the nth integral of pi over my left toe squared the chosen the chosen is coming."

Are you sure that's what he meant?

Oh, yes sir. I have an English to 57 dictionary right here.

Well then. 58! Where is 58?

Um, here sir.

Your turn.

Do I have to?

YES YOU HAVE TO, SOLDIER! NOW! BEFORE I PUT YOU ON REPORT!

What does it mean exactly to be put on report?

JUST DO IT!

Nike?

SAY YOUR %^$^$&^&@ PIECE!

Yes, sir. Harrumph. Harrrrrrrr. Cogh cough cough.

Was that it?

No, sir. Just clearing my throat, sir.

Well? Get on with it!

Yes, sir. "Toenails. Why toenails? It's not like we can use them for self defense or anything. At least you can use fingernails to open packages and scratch with."

That's it?

Yes, sir.

They evolved from claws, 58. That's a pretty weak attempt at a random thought.

Well, sir...

I don't want to hear it. Report to my office after this assembly, soldier.

For the... special punishment, sir?

And no turning this into some sort of sick sexual thing, either.

No, sir. Sorry, sir.

59! You're up!

And so on.

Squamous. (Scaly.)