. . .

Notes

Life is good. I have cream soda.

Must play Ween....

Ween...

Poit! Hmm. How odd. I felt all woozy there for a moment. Why is Ween playing? Doesn't matter. Ween = happy.

If you'll look outside your window, you'll notice my vast armada of invisible ninjas surrounding all buildings in your vicinities. Do not be alarmed. This is merely the final step. I have become world supreme dictator. An orderly transfer of power can be acheived with minimal unpleasantness if you all immediately write and sign documents pledging your unswerving loyalty to my new regime. The Age of Reason is complete. Now begins the Age of Alloni.

In the interests of world harmony, I am now ordering my army of invisible ninjas to spend five minutes every hour dancing the Can-Can.

You know, in the movie Misery, I don't see what the guy was complaining about. A massive fan came to him and just swept him off his feet.

Just remember.

Jesus loves you.

In the Biblical sense.

You bore me. I must compensate for this by killing all your firstborn male children.

Huh. Well I'll be a greased Jesus.

Jordan. From Real Genius. I think I love her.

This is excessive. Now I have not one, but two plush Cthulhu dolls. The first one being largish and greenish. The second being smallish, winged, and black. I may start a collection.

I have a knack for getting odd fortune cookie fortunes.

"No matter what you wear, your expression is the most noticeable."

To quote the ancient Isrealites...

"Aw, mom! Do we havta have manna from heaven AGAIN? It feels like we haven't eaten anything but God's superfood for fourty years now!"

In a short while, Arkansas will cease to be. Sorry about any convenience this will cause you.

Why is it that all the lesbians I meet are convinced that either a) all lesbians are crazy, or b) all women are crazy?

At my new company - the one I liked so much up until now? I've just found out the one, inevitable flaw that causes the whole thing to fall apart.

The guy who's basically my boss - not that he tells me what to do, but he signs my payment forms - almost stole my pen this morning.

While authorizing my vacation, but still.

As an introduction to work this morning, on the way here I got regaled by the taxi driver with tales of his love life and his ex-wife the runnerup for miss san antonio and his current wife who he's having troubles with and his friend who just won the lottery and who won't give him any and so forth. An odd way to wake up. I think I'm going to be skewed today.

I think I've ruined my chances to make myself look like a supergenius.

Screwed up. Reasonabletime.

There are butterflies all over the place.

And I saw a guy the other day with a tshirt with the Corinthian on it.

It might be a happy samtsirhc after all.

_Dahling_, how wonderfully _vile_ of you. You're so _wicked_. If Emma ever heard you talking about her like that, she'd just _die_, wouldn't she love. So we'll just have to make sure she finds out in a shack in the woods somewhere, dahling. So we can hide the body, of course, silly. I did say she would just _die_, didn't I? I would never be metaphorical with you, dear, never in a million years. Now let's kiss and make up, precious, and Ow.

Thought. Pi is essentially arbitrary.

The secret of travelling universes is typing in pi for that universe. As we have a complex, nonrepeating pi, we're basically alone here. Once we figure out the secret, we can travel _to_ the common universes. But never back here, quite.

Pi is the great barrier.

For those of you not in The Know, there are three types:

Bitching: Complaining when there's nothing you can do about whatever it is you're complaining about just to blow off steam Complaining: Complaining to someone in order to get something done about the thing you're complaining about (ie telling your waiter that your water has a fly in it in order to get another glass of water). Whining: Complaining about something that there's something you can do about but complaining isn't it (ie telling the people at the tables around you that your water has a fly in it).

You have new vocabulary now.

Programmer's nostalgia. I'm suffering programmer's nostalgia. What an odd feeling.

Y'see, my officemate just asked me a Perl question, and I told him the answer. And then I thought, "I remember the first time I had that bug."

I am _such_ a geek.

You never realize how much you know unless you're confronted by someone who knows less than you. You never realize how little you know unless you're confronted by someone who knows more than you.

Looking around The Web to find the lyrics to "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly". There is no reason.

Found a page. Read the lyrics. Got to the end.

"I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. She's alive and well of course!"

It's just depressing when people feel the need to protect children by CHANGING THE LYRICS TO CHILDREN'S RHYMES.

Is it just me, or has the world been getting more and more sciencefictiony recently?

I've figured it out!

The reason that for the whole infinite monkies / infinite time thing is that given enough time, the monkies will evolve into humans, build an elaborate civilization, and one of them would eventually _become_ Shakespeare! It's so easy!

Is the feminine form of teddy bear teddy barrette?

I need to scribble. Scribble merrily scribble. Write about nothing at great length just to write for practice. Vampiric dreams. Odd. Dreams about Harry Potter becoming a necromancer. Even more odd. Undead legions. I want undead legions. I have Garth, but that isn't enough.

In honor of nothing at all, I have decided to feel political.

To achieve this goal, I am playing Tom Lehrer's That Was The Year That Was whilst reading old Doonesbury cartoons.

It seems to be working. I'm already hating Nixon.

I don't know what to make of this.

There's a maintenance guy trimming the carpet with a pair of scissors.

I'm afraid to ask.