. . .

Quest For Short

Don't mind me. Just passing through. On my way on outta here. Just passing through. Yes sir. Yes sir. Just passing through. Whoa! Nice honker you got there, lady! Do you feed your young with that thing? Just passing through.

Are any of you particularly short? I feel the urge to make jokes at people's expense, and short is an easy way to go with that one. In fact, if I blur the line between "short" and "midget", I'll get Nathan into the act, and then I'll come out with a midget haiku and capture little Jennikins, a midget on drugs to get Garth, and a a midget security guard with a smg to get Eyedunno on my side. Then we shall reign supreme, jackboots and all.

But first, I need one of you to volunteer to be short. I don't care if you're actually short. This is the digital age. I just need you to be shamelessly mocked for being short. I'll toss in a free Slurpee - of your choice! You can even get the Supergulp Slurpee, which will feed you for a week!

I know some of you have alternate online personalities. This won't be a new experience. Just, instead of being a large furry rabbit or a cleric or a homicidal psychotic with a chainsaw, you'll be short.

Come on! Why are you hesitating? Short is beautiful!