. . .

As they say

Half a hole is better than none.

Two birds in the hand are better than one in the bush.

He who hesitates will be laughed at by his peers and die in a gutter drowning his sorrows in cheap booze.

A bush on the hand is better than two birds in the basement.

A stitch in time saves semicolon.

For want of a nail, I couldn't hang my picture.

By the pricking of my nose, something wicked this way blows.

Market "penetration", eh? Eh eh?

Sea shells she sells by the she sore.

Mommy? Can I go to the restroom?

The square root of the square of the hypotenuse equals the square root of the square of the roots of the other two sides. Depending.

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Why greensleeves? I prefer blue.

The more things change, the more drugs you've taken.

"Taurus: contemplate domestic turmoil. Aquarius: abandon hope for future plans."

Everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. Yours was in 1973, "Flipper baby born".

Everyone also gets 15 minutes of fate. You are fated not to believe any predictions of your fate.

Now I'm just getting insulting. We will move back to sayingmangling.

One if by land. Two if by sea. Three if by trained killer flying fish.

Six of one + 1/2 dozen of the other comes to, lessee, $.60 apiece for the one, $.80 apiece for the other comes to $8.40, plus tax equals $9.11. Thank you, sir, have a nice day.

Coronary thrombosis doesn't kill people. People kill people.

Math trivia: a google is a one followed by a hundred zeros. A google plex is a one followed by a google zeros. Or, to put it otherwise, google = 10^100, google plex = 10^10^100. Think, next time you're in a dare/double dare/triple dare/etc situation, and they say, "I google dare you!", you can quickly and easily up the ante with "I google plex dare you!" Of course, eventually they'll pull out the infinity bazooka, but you'll have a brief feeling of superiority first.

Of course, this requires them to know what a google is.

Marketing is the spice of life.

Which is the second time I've said that word this email. Must watch myself.

Mind your p's and q's and b's and d's and s's and m's.

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish to awaken tomorrow morning in a puddle of vomit and cheap booze.

As the screw turns.

Och, an' that's enough o' that, laddie.