. . .

I'm feeling useless

Not that I know of any particuar reason for me to feel useless, mind. I guess I'm trying to drum up sympathy. You! Sympathize with me! I have little to do at work! I'm forced to spend large amounts of my workday reading and writing email, browsing the web, and playing mindless ascii unix games. Sympathize, dammit!

I'm trying to figure out a decent method of figuring out how best to torment someone in as little time as possible. Ideally, it'd be instinctive. "Oh, that looks like someone who'd be driven up the wall by... my telling him that he looks awfully freebish today. Did he gazoornt it himself?" Less than ideally, I could do it as a computer application on something carryaroundable. "Name: Fred Johanssen. Height: 5'6". Pet peeves: People calling him Rupert." One of the few things that could get me to carry around a palmpilot. At this point, I really need to get to know someone, testing them out with various behaviors, before I can turn them into quivering lumps of jelly inside 10 seconds flat. And they even change over time. Someone I know named Cheri used to turn bright red when I made dirty jokes around her, but it doesn't work any more.

Of course, I don't want to go over the line here. I just want to torment people, not actually make them angry. I want to keep things just below the level where people would feel the need to do something about it. Hmm.

Why don't all of you make it easy for me? Just send me a long list of things I could do to torment you, and I'll remember you when the revolution comes.

Daily report: Had Indian food. Accomplished nothing of redeeming social value. Made plans. Was amused at self and others. Listened to music (Squirrel Nut Zippers, currently). And so on.