. . .

This space for rent. Low monthly payments.

That does it. I'm taking off my shoes.

I lie. I've had my shoes off for quite some time now. I am evil. EVIL INCARNATE.

As opposed to good incarnate, which is far less likely to freak out the neighbors.

Unless you have interesting neighbors.

I do have an actual reason for this email, as opposed to simply being bored at work and attempting to do something to sate my hideous desires. I started this email because I knew I had a reason to do so. I didn't remember what the reason was, I just knew I had one.

I bet Cheri blushes every time she listens to "S-E-X-X-Y" by They Might Be Giants.

Cheri, you should thank me. I was about to go into my "Alloni wants to see Cheri blush" mode, but I managed to pull out of it before it was too late.

Thank me. Or else.

And do so without calling me a "lump of freakishness".

Or else.

I'm warning you. If my name is spoken 3 times I appear, and my arm was replaced with that of a psycho serial killer, and I was electrocuted and turned into energy, and I grant wishes that turn on the wisher, and I enter people's dreams and kill them, and I come from hell to destroy the living, and I am a vampire, and a werewolf, and a zombie, and can control minds, 'n stuff.

So don't mess with me.

I still don't remember the reason for all this.

It could be to tell Cheri to get her stuff out of my apartment today because the furniture is arriving tomorrow morning, but I already called and left a message to that effect. Oh, by the way: Cheri - eat!

I just whipped my own back with a shoelace. Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. I am but a poor entertainer. You don't need to worship me. No, I am not a god, but thank you for asking.

REITERATION CONDEMNATION CONFLAGRATION REITERATION

jjjjsjsjdflakjsdfl;kjwoeituqpoigpoiwjegl;kjagkjhkajgh;lkjhsdf;lkjasl;j kdfl;ksajflkdadiadifasidfiasfdiiasdifiasdifiifisdiiisifdiisfiiiiisfiii iiiiisfdiiiisfiiiiiiiiiiifiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Tired. I don't know why I am, but I am. I'll cope somehow.

"Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." Sass - meet, encounter, know, have sex with; hoopy - amazingly together guy; frood - really amazingly together guy.

Please excuse the mess. We are rejuvinating.

A blue bird to a black bird, both sitting on a tree: "Hey there Mr. black bird, why you look at me?" The black bird to the blue bird, hits him with a stone: "Hey there Mr. blue bird, now I fly alone."

I don't know. I'm prone to that kind of thing. My brain is shooting off sparklies. One of these "days" I'll remember "what" I meant "to" say. Or maybe "not".