. . .

This is a mail bomb. Whatever you do, don't read it - your skull will explode.

Too late.

Ah well.

It was nice knowing you.

I hope you will be more careful in future lives.

Assuming you have future lives.

I mean, after a stunt like that, clearly disregarding the subject of an email, that might make the Lords of Karma (TM) (SM) (CPM) (CPU) (PU) (coming soon, to TV 44!) throw up their hands in disgust and make you start over again at algae or tape worm level.

Or maybe something poisonous.

It might be neat to be an electric eel.

Or an octopus. Octopi are just plain cool. No question about it. If a human could do the things an octopus can do, he would wear a colorful costume and go around either doing good deeds and fighting villains or doing bad deeds and fighting heroes.

Dolphins are neat too, but they don't have real superpowers. They can swim fast and head butt and things, but they're like normal abilities excercised abnormally. Like Batman. Yeah. BatDolphin. No, on second thought, maybe not.

They (the perrenial They) are apparently doing a live-action Justice League International TV show. Shudder. More news on this if anyone really cares. Which they don't. Or at least, I don't.

OctopusMan? The Human Octopus? The Caped Octopus? Maybe just Octopus. Or something totally trivial, like The Color Changer, or Frederick, or something. Maybe just The Thing. No, that's been used. The Something?

You may ask why the sudden obsession with cephalopoid superheroes. But only if you're polite about it.

For sheer power, though, you can't beat the Kraken.

Huge underwater sea demons. Gotta love them.

You know, I have no idea why I started obsessing over deep sea critters. You can safely ignore me.