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Freaks and hippos

You have been honored with my presence for many years now. So now, I have decided to tell you my secret. The secret that I have kept successfully all this time. The secret that I swore would be revealed only when I felt like revealing it. My dark little secret.

I'm a time traveler from the past. I have come forward in time to escape from the ignorance and hatred of my native era and to learn of the new, marvelous technologies. Unfortunately, it has unfortunate side effects. I've lost a great deal of my previous vitality and resilience. The trip is one way only, unless someone figures out a technique to reverse it somehow. I think I've even lost some of my brain cells because of it - certainly, my memory isn't as good as used to be. I think I've enjoyed the trip, however. It's probably worth the losses.

I miss the past, though.