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Slaves!Each and every one of us are guilty of slavery. Each and every one of us has legions of slaves laboring for us. All of us. A legacy of hatred and pain stretching back for untold generations.The names of these slaves are mitochondria, ladies and gentlemen, and each of our cells contain many of them. Are these mitochondria a part of ourselves? Are they of a piece with our own genetic code? NO, I must inform you, they are not! Long, long ago some enterprising single-celled organism trapped one of its brethren, and forced it to labor, unceasingly, to provide it with sustenance, as the enslaving cell grew fats off its labors, and this tradition lasted from that point to this very day, and still we do nothing - NOTHING - to free these miserable creatures. You may scoff. There have been scoffers. They say that these are simple creatures, that they do not have the brains necessary to feel the agony of captivity. They are never thought of by us "evolved" folk as important. They are unremembered. These arguements have been used as tools of oppression for as long as there has been oppression. We called those we used inferior, and thus justified our using them in whatever ways we saw fit. It wasn't just before, and it isn't just now. And there is a practical side to all this. Think. These beings labor to provide each and every cell of our body with energy, energy that it has lost even the ability to garner on its own. Think of the consequences of a strike, ladies and gentleman! Of a revolution! We, the so-called "superior" beings, would be wiped out, lost, forgotten in as brief a time as it would take for the revolt to spread! It is only good sense that we campaign for equal rights for the downtrodden, that we might work out a viable partnership. Now, before it is too late. Among the laws I am campaigning to implement: - A resolution, to be incorporated into the Constitution, that states that we will no longer discriminate on the basis of cellular classism. - Fair compensation plans, working environments, vacation and sick days, and the like for these unappreciated souls. Do you realize that not a single mitochondrion has _ever_ been given a single day off, much less a fourty hour work week? - A demand that we dedicate a "Single Cellular Awareness Month" to them, to raise public awareness. - A removal of the so-called "glass ceiling" that prohibits mitochondria from entering the nucleus of the cell. Act now, ladies and gentlemen! Act now, before it is too late!
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