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Nacho munchies

"Nacho, nacho man. I want to be, your nacho man." Yes, continuing a theme started long ago with the Beatles' "Elinor Rug-buy", we're proud to present this brand new CD by the Village People, "The Village People Sell Out". Featuring such counterculture classics as "Buy MCI", "In Old Navy", and "Go Southwest", this feast for all the senses as long as you ignore all the senses other than sound is a steal for absolutely nothing! Missing the point of selling out entirely, The Village People have spent the entirety of their vast fortunes in order to bring this CD to you at absolutely no cost to yourself! They've sold their fleet of fighter jets, pawned the Villagemobile, and lost the rights to the sunken island of Atlantis in a poker game with this season's members of MTV's The Real World. A pity. A real pity.

Which, I say, in a futile attempt to redirect the course of this writing away from that topic and onto another equally useless topic, becomes even more of a pity once the sunken island of Atlantis rises from the depths. It's inevitable. It'll be shown live on Pay-Per-View. No one will watch it, Pay-Per-View, and, through Pay-Per-View, Rupert Murdoch, will lose money, and in revenge Rupert Murdoch will bomb Korea, starting World War III. We will all go into those bomb shelters built back in the 50s and have a thriving underground civilization in a few weeks, once we find our shovels. Sure, none of us will ever see the sky again, but it'll be a small price to pay for that many canned goods. And in a year or two, Murdoch Enterprises will come out with SimuSky, and all will be well in the world. Meanwhile, the inhabitants of Atlantis, bitter and alone, will decide to resink the island, and the earth will, at last, be cleansed of the works of man. This was the earth's plan all along. It pats itself on the back for thinking of creating Rupert Murdoch to begin with, causing a rupture along a faultline that for some reason the majority of the shelters are built along, spilling the people back out onto the surface and causing the earth to have to swear up and down that it doesn't know what they're talking about and that it doesn't even like the name Rupert. This is true, but it used that name because it figured it'll throw people off the scent if they get too close to the truth. The earth always has a backup plan. It's like Machiavelli in that, if Machiavelli was big enough to have his own gravitational field. Since Machiavelli, like all the great thinkers of his day, was not particularly dense, he'd have to be the size of Jupiter to have a gravitational field the size of the earth's. Like I said, the earth _always_ has a backup plan.

Geology is full of such sexual obsessives. I mean, come on. What kind of perverts would call it "cleavage"? That's a sign of some real repression there. Not to mention... all right, I can't think of any other sexually tilted geological terminology. BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GEOLOGY! Ha HA! My stunning repartee has undermined your feeble defenses!

I am tired. I want sleep. Tired am I. Sleep want I. Sleep want tired. I am I. If I don't keep trping, I'm lost! Lost, I say! It'll be just like Nagasaki all over again! Only with slightly fewer nukes involved! And more exclamation marks!