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Rule the world (TM)

Oh, what's the use.

I seem to have lost the motivation for this behavior. I mean, what's the point. My evil plans are always foiled by some hero or another, or by some mischance or fluke, or by my bumbling lackeys. (You'd think after a while I would learn to hire competent folks, and not kill them when I'm in a bad mood, but nooooooo.)

And even if I did take over the world, what would change?

Well, TCI, for one thing.

And, really, the whole pollution thing. I'd have to do something about that.

And goths. Not that I would exterminate them, or anything. That would be needlessly cruel, and they provide much-needed amusement for the rest of us. Maybe I'd turn all the goth nightclubs into zoos and charge admission. (Not that I would need the money - I would be the ruler of the world, after all - but it's the principle of the thing. If you have a zoo, you must pay to get in. I guess it's to show how much you care.)

Elvis. He's dead, people. Get over him. (Well, I suppose it's possible that he was abducted or escaped or something. If I can take over the world by, say, creating a machine that causes all the world's sporks to animate into my trusty soldiers, then Courtney Love could be the reincarnation of Elvis. But it doesn't matter - even if she is, she's still not being Elvis as Elvis, and as such, all the time and effort that go into making Elvis the cult figure that he is could go better towards worshipping someone worthy of being worshipped, like, well, modesty forbids me to say.)

Those people who drive 65 or less in the left hand lane on the freeways. I hate them. Everyone does. I could make myself the most popular evil dictator ever simply by getting rid of them. I know Nathan would support me. (Until he could take over, anyway. But if he wants to take over, he can make his own twisted contraption.)

People who say "alumni" when they mean "alumnus". Personal pet peeve of mine. Forget I mentioned it.

I could change President to Figurehead. It's more or less accurate anyway.

And don't forget the Spice Troopers. (Don't ask. It would take too long to explain, and is a series of gaming anecdotes besides, although a far-more-than-usually deranged one.)

I would, of course, reward those who supported me. And since all of you of course support me, you should start thinking of what you want. Lucy Lawless clones are available. Even Callisto clones, if you help out enough.

That's it! I'm born again! Soon, my hideous plans to rule the world will come to fruition! I will rule supreme! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!